Cruel but fair, the Inquisitor reads the charges and hears the case for the Defendant. If the Defendant has not the cash to plead innocence (whatever the Accuser has paid plus an additional five dollars), the Inquisitor will have no choice but to find the defendant Guilty and pass the sentence of an immediate pie in the face of the condemned!


A monk of the people, the Counsellor guides the Defendant through the rigors of the trial, explaining the charges and options open to him or her. Even if the Defendant is found guilty as charged, the Counsellor will still stand by the Condemned for the execution.


The Undertaker is equipped with the ceremonial Headgear of Meringem The Unstainable, as well as numerous moist-towelettes. The Undertaker fits the protective headgear on the Condemned before guiding them to the Execution Stocks: In this way, the Condemned's hair and clothing is shielded from the farm-fresh wrath of the Order of Pi!

Pie Bearer

Only the most virtuous and pure of the Order of Pi may be Pie Bearers. These members of The Order devote their time to making and transporting the sacred pies of Justice from the bakery of righteousness to the faces of the wicked.


The Bard is the time honored guardian of the Blaster of Flakeacrustus, the musical relic from which the Piethagorean Chant of the Order of Pi does emanate. The Piethagorean Chant accompanies the Order as it goes about its noble business, filling the wicked with terror and the righteous with glee as it grows ever louder while Justice draws near!


Silent and inscrutable, the Executioner is the most mysterious and fearsome member of the Inquisition. Trained extensiveley in the art of pieing, and posessing of incredible strength, the Executioner is the only member of the Order of Pi sanctioned to carry out the Sentence of the Condemned.